Is it completely pretentious to think of putting together a “wardrobe manifesto”? Putting such a label on it probably pushes it into “way too far” territory, but with the horrifying realisation that gaining weight can happen, and more to the point, is doing so at a slightly unprecedented rate, some simple (ha!) rules may be in order. Heaven forbid freedom goes to my head and I end up with bags full of sleeveless, navy, footless garments.
- No sleeveless, and definitely no high necks. Neither of these do me any favours whatsoever, and there is far too much fun to be had with a sleeve. Just look at batwings.
- Be ruthless. That includes culling what I do own, results of which are pictured here. Nothing like a scourge of the wardrobe floor to put you in a cheerful mood on a Sunday evening.
- As little “fast fashion” as possible. I’ve mentioned this before, but like its gastronomic equivalent, quick fixes make me happy in the short term – the very short term – but after a while, I do tend to wish I’d gone for a more durable alternative, even if it costs that bit more.
- Take trends on a case-by-case basis. If something looks good, or even better, fabulous, on me as well as a magazine spread, the first thing I should probably do is ask myself why I don’t already own it. After that, I might as well take the opportunity to do some serious soul-searching and ask myself “is it going to work, six to nine months or even more from now? If so, see Rule Three for “approved outlets”.
- Dress for my shape. I have a feeling that this will be the most difficult task, given my history, and it’s a little bit of all the above rules combined. That said, the day I hit goal, I am going on a truly momentous fitting spree. Yes, that’s right, not necessarily a shopping spree, but a fitting spree, in order to discover and/or confirm what should be gracing my frame rather than a coat hanger, and vice versa.
…Just wish me luck sticking to these venerable guidelines next time I walk past Topshop or totally accidentally click onto ASOS. The photos are of the broken shell that is now my wardrobe, post clear-out. Egads.